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“It was pathetic.” That’s where the lines get blurry, says P.
Shavaun Scott, a marriage and family therapist from San Luis Obispo, Calif.
“All the way down to a breakup.” “It’s not the sex, it’s the emotional intimacy,” says Au. getting very personal and talking about stuff that you should only be talking about with your boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever.
Some folks use virtual relationships as a way to experiment.
Amanda, 20, started up a friendship with someone she met in “World of Warcraft.” Her real-life relationship was one that she terms as “moderately abusive,” and her real-life boyfriend as “very controlling.” Her in-game guy, Joel, was much nicer. “I thought she was going through a depression and she’d get bored and move on with life,” he says.
“But she kept getting deeper and deeper.” Within six months of signing up for Second Life, Max’s wife was spending up to eight hours a day online — and even more on the weekends.
What Sam didn’t expect, he says, is how much the virtual breakup would affect him.
“My feelings for Kat were no different in many ways than what happens in a real-life relationship,” he says.
To his amazement, he learned that his wife had married her in-world boyfriend in Second Life. ’” Max ended up pulling the Internet connection out of the wall, and he says his wife started trashing the house. Although Max’s wife did end up meeting her virtual boyfriend in the real world, that often isn’t the case with virtual relationships.“I had my dad looking over my shoulder at the stuff I was finding,” he says. Sarah had a plane ticket bought and plans to meet her virtual partner, Martin — but she canceled her trip.“One day I had the realization that I didn’t really want that guy,” she says. They bonded intellectually, emotionally, and yes, thanks to Second Life animations, even physically. Unlike his avatar, which is female, in real life, Sam is a man. “With Second Life, there wasn't the fear of a real-life physical attachment,” he says. So although he acknowledges feeing some guilt, he didn’t see the online affair as being as damaging as a real one.
The excitement is what initially drew Sam to hook up with Kat.